I've learned to be careful about the stories I tell about myself to others. I've learned that when I tell someone something negative or limiting about myself, I run the risk of ending up with now two of us believing a stressful story about myself …. I then carry, not only the weight of my own judgment, but of theirs as well.
How can it help if both of us believe a limiting, stress-creating and painful idea about me?
2 Responses
Thank you Carolyn, you’re right!
I agree, it can be load lightening to share with others … but I was speaking of something a little bit different here…..
I’ve noticed that repeating a stress producing story about myself over and over often serves to reinforce belief in it. The more I believe it, the more I act as if it’s true. The more I act as if it’s true – the more evidence I generate that verifies it.
This is where “sharing my story” can actually strengthen the limiting concept rather than (en)lighten me.
Thank you for prompting me to clarify. 🙂 Lynne
Lynne,
Let go. You can’t take on the responsibility of someone else’s perceptions of you. Let go of the weight of your own judgment of yourself and the judgment of others. When you share with others you lighten up. Remember we’re all in this together! Limiting, stress-creating, painful experiences are part of the human experience. Don’t be so hard on yourself. My guess is that you’re probably pretty cool already.