I notice how the presence of even one person can interrupt my focus on Source.
When I am alone, I can surrender fully to a Source of Energy that stretches, opens my heart and moves me. I practice opening to that inspiration, and allowing it to prompt and guide me. Nothing stands between me & Source during those solitary moments.
But as soon as another person enters the mix, my focus falters. Suddenly my attention is divided. Source no longer has my full attention, and the results are immediately apparent. I falter and lose connection. Suddenly I question what, just a few minutes before, felt absolutely right. I see myself through “their eyes,” and begin to doubt my motives and ideas. My words are stilted, my movements stiff and awkward. The effortless flow of union with Source has disappeared.
My 85 year old friend, Jane, who I greatly admire and respect, describes such a loss of focus as holding back from Source for fear of what others may think. She calls it “man-fear” (fear of man).
I relate. I, too “lose my way,” whenever I give in to the irresistible urge to seek someone else's acceptance or approval!
I have concluded that when we allow another's opinion to determine our choices, we are more than likely saying “no” to Source. We are sidetracked. When we distrust our own inner sense of what's right for us and choose instead to do it “their” way, we give up our own authentic life expression for a life “done right” by someone else's standards. When we are being internally nudged to go in a particular direction, but follow someone else's lead instead, we abandon ourselves AND Source. Tremendous unhappiness and self-loathing results!
Learning to surrender to what Source prompts, in and through us, sets us on track to live an authentic life. We attain that degree of surrender through a daily practice. By committing to spend time every day focused on Source, we may someday be able to hold our gaze unwaveringly on Source, no matter who else enters our space. It's my greatest desire.
2 Responses
Hi Tracy,
Your inner voice is Source’s constant whisper. It is the guiding Force that knows you most intimately & never fails to guide. You are wise to desire its counsel.
Using a mantra when you meditate can help. Are you familiar with mantras?
A mantra can be any “high frequency” word, phrase or sound that is easy to remember and repeat. The universal mantra is the word, “Om.”
Another frequently used mantra is the phrase, “I am,” But you can choose a phrase of your choice as well. “Source is Love” or “I am truth” are examples… Perhaps the Bible verse. “God is Love” or “Only One Mind” Any of these, or one of your own choosing, can work,
Repeat your mantra silently over & over as you sit in meditation, returning to the word or phrase whenever you find the mind wandering. Don’t worry about how often the mind strays. It is its natural tendency. Simply return by picking up the mantra again.
The mantra provides focus. It serves like an arrow aimed for the the quiet center of Source connection that is located within our minds. Try it & see how it works for you.
Blessings, Lynne
When i was in University just my first year,i had a tutor who belonged to a spiritual group within the catholic faith.Whenever i met her for the usual sessions she would urge me to join her group.I was still fresh from high school and didn’t really know what i wanted so i went along with it since i thought that because it was religious it must be a good thing…However i never quite felt comfortable with the activities i had to do and the prayers i had to say and so i kept feeling out of place most of the time..Eventually i opted not to join.Well my tutor did not take that well and cut all communications and so i started to feel condemned and as though i had done the wrong thing and given it was religious based i agonized over the fact that my faith had been compromised.
For a while i felt that given i had listened to my own feelings as opposed to those of my tutor my life was doomed to failure and that God would punish me.I know that this contributed a lot to my limiting beliefs about myself but i am working on changing that and listening more to my inner voice….For a long time i have neglected that inner voice and instead just focused on my conscious mind which is affected by so many other external opinions…until recently i didn’t even know an inner voice quite existed…i am learning to listen to it now….I feel stuck though when i meditate because my feelings are all over the place and i am working on learning how to understand and process them…