photo credit: Jokerface 13
In the beginning it's all about becoming self reliant. This is so necessary, of course! How else are we going to be able to build confidence in our ability to take care of ourselves?
I started life on my own at an early age. I was fifteen when I left my family home. By the time I was 17, I was divorced with two small children. I had a wonderful family. They helped all they could. Who knows where we'd be today as a family but for their assistance and support! Yet their resources were limited too which meant I figured lots of stuff out on my own.
These early life experiences called forth creative and practical personal resourcefulness. I found that I was capable and strong and able to go and do for myself. I developed confidence in my ability to be self reliant. This was a good and necessary foundation for what was to come ….
Later in life I found that all that self reliance I had accrued through challenge and hardship was blocking my relationship with Source. So began the path of surrender that I continue to walk towards becoming increasingly Source reliant.
It seems noteworthy to draw attention to the fact that the essential first step to becoming reliant on Source is to develop self initiative. Moving from self reliance to Source reliance is the natural order of progression, I notice … not the other way around.
We don't just sit down and expect Source to carry us; “I am waiting on the Lord to tell me what to do”, sort of thing. It's not that. No, we must develop self initiative before we can release into total dependency on Source.
Our hard earned self reliance becomes that which we offer up to Source (which means we have to already have it). Our independent self becomes that which we lay on the alter in exchange for complete union with Source. This surrender necessitates stretching our minds through disciplined willingness first so that our efforts to reach to Source will culminate in being filled and guided by Its Grace and Wisdom.
4 Responses
Tracy, Daily practice is key to making this shift. Read Byron Katie’s book, “Loving What Is” and Eckhert Tolle’s “The Power of Now” to begin to develop right attitude towards developing that practice.
I feel that this is the point i am at right now….moving from self reliance to Source reliance…I too had to take up a lot of responsibilities when growing up and my thinking mindframe is that of me taking care of myself and others…Sometimes i feel that i am waiting to hear a voice from out there to say something about the right way to go and when it doesn’t happen i want to do sometihng.
I have noticed as well that my ego has really got in the way of enabling me really know who i am and act like it…I feel the beliefs i have had when growing up have been limited,and i feel more focused on trying to please others and justifying my actions and self as a way of receiving affection.
What are some of the ways in which i can develop self initiative?I have noticed that my ego has all sorts of ideas on how i should handle matters but they tend towards receiving outside gratification which feels temporary…
There is an old saying around this work that goes, “we must first have an ego before we can give it up!” There is much truth in this….
We come in with no idea of being or having a self – as infants we are still living in unity consciousness. But then the laws of earth reality set in and we begin to establish ourselves as separate from the One.
We assume a name and the limited identity that goes with it and work for many years to become independent selves. This is all part of the journey back to remembering our original state of oneness.
Finally there comes a time when we are reconnected with Source. We get to participate with Source in a collaboration wherein the will of Source becomes our hearts desire…. There is a merger; a marriage between ourselves and Source wherein we again become aware that we are one and the same.
It sounds like you are recognizing the desolation that goes with separation from Source and desiring to surrender the ego identity and come into merger with the One. This is you giving up the ego illusion of a separate self. Congratulations.
How can I be self reliant if I am being breathed? I can imagine what a wonderful feeling it must be to feel self-reliant, but anytime I have it has been fleeting, and then drowned out by depression and self-doubt. I have been trying to realign my action with source so that it is more meaningful. I don’t understand how there can be any right action outside of being motivated by source.